Pothole Season


It’s my least favorite season in the burgh – pothole season. You seriously can not go 20 feet without seeing a pothole. And I’m not talking about those little southern potholes. I’m talking about the huge, yawning abyss type pothole. The kind that swallow cars. For real – there are several instances every year where a pothole becomes a sinkhole and swallows a Buick.

There was a story on the news a few days ago about one that was so bad (and so unavoidable, since it is paired with Pittsburgh also-treacherous narrow streets, steep hills and blind curves) which was blowing tire after tire during the previous day’s morning rush hour, resulting in a group of about 30 people gathered in a parking lot at the bottom of the hill, all going, “What the fuck?” One woman lost two tires, a rim and part of her car’s frame to that particular black hole of death.

And the best part about Pittsburgh potholes is the way they are dealt with. See, we don’t fix th potholes right away. Instead, we have a dedicated team of people that go out with bright orange spray paint and circle the pothole. This is extremely helpful, because now you have a split second to grab your cell phone, dial your family and tell them you love them before hurtling to your death. Before the circle maneuver was implemented, your imminent demise took you completely by surprise. Now – thanks to the neon “Hey look! A pothole!” – you have a chance to say goodbye.


And if the pothole warning system doesn’t make us look redneck enough, these folks surely will.

Although – at least we aren’t West Virginia, I guess.


About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

One response »

  1. I just KNEW “these folks” was going to take me to that story. At least we can use the excuse that it’s not technically Pittsburgh.The potholes are truly amazing, aren’t they? I can fit my entire really big SUV in one near my house. It hasn’t been circled yet, so I guess that means it won’t be getting fixed anytime soon. I think I should set up some chairs a few hundred feet away and just watch the show as people slam on the breaks too late and destroy their cars.

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