No Picnics – Yay!


I love holiday weekends, but they always seem to fly by. This year, no one had any picnics or parties that we had to go to and that’s jus the way I like it. I’m so busy all the time that when a weekend or holiday rolls around, I really like to spend it relaxing and/or getting all the things done that I have been neglecting since I’m so busy. The last thing I feel like doing is driving all the way to some far-off relative’s house with two kids playing a rousing game of Who Is More Annoying in the back seat. And then you have to make something to bring – ugh. I don’t know why, but I can make food at home and it costs a normal amount of money. But anytime I make something to take to a party, it’s like the grocery store replaced all the potatoes and peppers with diamonds and crude oil. And then either 1) no one eats it and I feel bad, or b) everyone eats it and then they ask me to bring it for every future party ever, at which point I wish they had all hated it, so next time I can bring chips.

But not this year, baby. This year, I honored America’s veterans by doing my laundry. And laying in the hammock (and flipping surreptitious birds at the neighbors). We also went to see Prince Caspian Sunday night. It was pretty good. But the best thing in the movie? Pierfrancesco Favino. Mmmmmmm. . .

After the movie, we had planned on going to eat, but the movie was thirty-four thousand hours long, so we settled for Steak and Shake drive through. I may have cried actual tears over the smell of those tiny little fries, but I didn’t partake. I got a grilled chicken sandwich, since I have to get back on the Weight Watchers track (19 lbs so far). I don’t generally like the way sandwiched come in fast food places, so I ordered it with pickles and lettuce only. And when I got it, it had mayo and tomatoes and onions, too. I walked back to the drive through window and told them it was wrong (if it hadn’t been for the mayo, I would have just picked the stuff off, but mayo makes me puke). Anyway, I told the guy that I ordered pickles and lettuce, but that it had mayo and tomatoes and onions. And he looked at me in all seriousness and said, “But that’s how it comes.” I understand that. That’s why I specifically ordered it with lettuce and pickles ONLY, you jackass! (the jackass part was said silently, since I would prefer my chicken sandwich also without saliva). It only took two more rounds of “that’s how it comes/that’s why I special ordered it” before the mental giant understood. So that was fun.

Oh – and to my future wives – regarding my beach brawl story? I can’t belive I forgot the bets part – I was wearing a batgirl mask during the whole thing. Here’s the tale in it’s entirety, if you’re interested. And the aftermath.


About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

7 responses »

  1. Haha, Oh Gina! I can’t believe you left out some of those juicy details! I told Zach and my good friend your story over dinner on Saturday night, and they couldn’t stop laughing. It’s just that wonderful–even second hand from me (a TERRIBLE story teller) make a person laugh.

  2. So, the bad service on Friday was your fault? You seem to attract it. Not that Steak and Shake will ever be known for stellar service, but still.Fruit pizza is the bane of my existence. It costs 80 bazillion dollars to make, and everybody asks me to make it for every get-together. I think they just like to see me cry.

  3. A Batgirl mask?! Girl, there’s no end of fun with you, is there? But it was a good plan, that way the crackhead hooker ho can never identify you in a lineup.I posted today about ditching the word verification. You may want to read it. I’m just sayin’.

  4. lol a Bat-Girl mask? The image in my head… wow.@burgh baby’s mom: ME TOO! Fruit pizza, while very good and not too difficult to make, is very spendy with all the fruit and stuff. I also get asked to make broccoli salad a lot, and sometimes broccoli ain’t so cheap.Also: “a rousing game of Who Is More Annoying” made me laugh out loud.

  5. Oh your weekend sounds just wonderful – minus the Steak and Shake incident. What gets me about the “bring something to the party” thing is when everyone does it and you end up with enough food to feed 10x more people than are there! Then you have a ton of food that people spent (and wasted) hard earned money to make, that is often just tossed away. So wasteful!But I read your actual Batgirl and aftermath story…and yeah, I would be seriously PISSED at my hubby too!

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