There are very few sports I don’t get excited about during the Olympics. These are usually the (what I consider to be) non-sports And sometimes basketball, because I’m sorry – I just can’t feel the Olympic spirit for a bunch of millionaires. I know it’s hard to distinguish between professional and amateur athletes nowadays – especially given how different countries treat and support their athletes – but with basketball, it really bugs me. I have a tendency to root for the underdog when USA is playing. I guess I should have more USA spirit, but meh. They can go home and cry in their great big piles of money.
I’m a little disappointed that there are no pornstaches on the Romanian men’s gymnastic team this year like there were in Athens, because that shit was funny.
Also disappointing? Lack of good diver package shots. But since I care about you all and I know you would appreciate one, I will dig an old one out to share:
And on to the non-sports. Don’t let me say right off the bat that I am not talking about the actual athletes here – they ARE athletes and most of them could probably kick my ass. But the “sports”? Not so much.
Rhythmic gymnastics – I’m looking at you. Sorry, but I just don’t get it. I used to be a gymnast and I have a hard time comparing a full twisting double back flip with dancing with a ribbon. Besides, I can’t help but to picture Will Ferrell in Old School. I’ll admit, the way they balance that ball with their body is cool but it’s more Cirque de Soliel that Olympic Sport.
Synchronized swimming is another. I don’t care for it, and I picture Martin Short in a life jacket and nose plugs (“Hey! I know you! I know you!”). Seriously – if you have not seen the SNL skit with him, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer, you are seriously missing out. Go watch. Seriously, Go
I have warmed up to synchronized diving, so I’m taking it off my non-sport list, but it better watch it’s step or it’s going rght back on. Because it’s cool – I mean – it’s hard enough to dive alone, much less in tune with a partner. But it’s still a little Bob Fosse.
Trampoline. Fun. Not a sport. It’s a tool that is used by people training in other sports. Divers and gymnasts use trampolines. I’ll admit – the tricks they do are pretty cool and are definitely hard, but still.
Badminton? Well, it’s a backyard game to me, but I get to say shuttlecock a lot. Also – rowing IS on my list of sports, but I had to mention it because, “coxswain”!
Ping pong. Seriously? You can call it table tennis all you want but it’s still ping pong. It’s in my basement. And if it’s in my basement, it can’t be an Olympic sport.
I was at my sister-in-law’s house last week and as I was driving out of the neighborhood, I saw a hawk flapping around near some bushes. I thought it was hunting something so I turned around to get some photos. It turned out that the poor thing was injured – he appeared to have a broken wing. In lieu of the girl’s suggestion that we call the Wonder Pets, I got one of the neighbors to get the number for the fish and game commission, so we could call for a raptor rescue. But I took a few shots while we waited:
In other news, I ate pizza (with mushrooms and hot peppers. . .mmm) for breakfast. Florine Marks is probably rolling over in her grave. You know, if she were dead. She’s not dead is she? I don’t think she is. I’m going to have to go look it up. And I tell you, if I find out that all this time I have been watching and counting and drinking eleventy gallons of water a day and she died all huge and floppy and needed one of those giant caskets, all bets are off, dead, fat Florine!