First off, I just want to say thanks to you guys for helping me out with the diabetes walkathon. Your generosity means a lot to me. I want to give you a big fat kiss – with tongue! Or, you know, if you’re not into that – a nice, firm handshake and a pat on the back. Regardless, the walk is tomorrow, and between your donations and a couple cash donations that I have, I am almost to my goal. I’m hoping I get there, but if not – it’s still a big boost for a very deserving cause so thanks – you guys are awesome.
1. What’s the cutest of the small, furry animals?
Puppies. No, kittens. No, chinchillas!
2. What predator impresses you the most?
Raptors of any kind – hawks, eagles, falcons, whatever. They are too cool. I want to be like them – flying around, all free and beautiful and then when I get hungry, just swoop down and snatch up a rabbit or something. Only instead of a rabbit, I’d snatch up a corn dog and a funnel cake.
3. After which animal will you name your professional sports team?
The Sloths. We won’t be particularly competitive or tough, but damn, will we be well rested.
4. What’s an unusual animal that you know a little something about?
The duckbilled platypus. In grade school, we had to do a report on an animal and that was the one I picked. Because hello? Duckbilled Platypus!
5. Your high school probably had some kind of mascot or symbol, but based on your
memories of it, what animal should REALLY have been the emblem?
Hmm. . .I mostly liked school, so I don’t know. There were a lot of dickheads though, so maybe the Cocks. Or the Boozehounds. Is that an animal? Because we drank a lot. Or maybe…let’s see…what animal does a lot of fucking?