And I Walked to School, Uphill, Both Ways…

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You know, nothing makes you feel quite as old as helping your kids with schoolwork. This weekend, I was trying to help the boy prepare for his social studies test and I discovered that I have become my grandfather.

The test was on the geography of Eastern Europe, so I set him up with one of those online map quizzes where it asks you to identify countries by clicking on them. He did pretty well, getting most of them right, but occasionally, he would falter and look at me for help and let me tell you: I am a Big Fat Geography Failure.

Now, I have never been particularly great at geography, but I did OK. But this time, I can’t even be blamed for my failure. It’s because I’m old. Not that I can’t remember the stuff from when I studied it back in the 70s and 80s (it’s my short-term memory that sucks). No – it’s the fact that when I studied this stuff way back when, the map was completely different!!

We had East and West Germany. There was no Croatia or Serbia or Bosnia and Herzegovina. We had Yugoslavia. Czech Republic and Slovakia? Nope – Czechoslovakia. And there was one big country called Russia or USSR, depending on who was doing the talking.

I am old! Old enough that the maps are way different from “my day”. I’m not totally sure, but there’s a chance that there may have only been one or two continents back when I was in school. And they were all inhabited by dodos and mastodons.

Sigh.

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Some of my favorite photos from the past week:

A sweet girl’s birthday:

Waiting patiently at the window for her big girls night with a friend:

There was an insane person in front of me in line with a feather purse (crappy illicit cell-phone photo):

To show you how redneck my town is, here is the ladies room at the local bowling alley (I wish I were kidding):

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And today’s embarrassing photo from my youth (first in a series of however many it takes until I get tired of it):

Angel costume, candy apple, toilet: priceless
Also – doesn’t my girl look like me?

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About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

11 responses »

  1. Your daughter is a beautiful creature. Those eyes! So piercing and lovely. As far as the homework – I am so not looking forward to my daughter being old enough to get that. The maps ARE different now. And how about Pluto? Now that’s not a planet. That makes me feel old, too. Oh well. We might be old, but we still rock. Right?

  2. You are not old!I wrote a report about Czechoslovakia in 5th grade (and memorized how to spell it, just for fun), and then the next year it was gone! Totally blew my little mind that a country could just *poof* be something else. Also, didn’t understand why Jaromir Jagr’s relatives (Czechs) hated my relatives (Slovaks) so much they had to split apart!

  3. Yes, your girl looks exactly like you!I bought that same dress for Monkey recently. Cute!And a local restaurant has a ladies’ room exactly like that. Very strange. As if I’m going to leave the door unlocked because there’s free toilet. Uh, no. Plus, no changing table. Public restroom FAIL.ciao,rpm

  4. LMAO!! This post was hilarious from start to finish. Your daughter is gorgeous and I can’t get over that picture of you on the potty, with food in hand.

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