Picture It, High School, 1984


This morning, the TV was on in the background as I was getting ready, and I heard someone say the words, “Impossible Dream” and BOOM! A memory popped right into my head:

He was Don Quixote. I was the Moorish girl. It was our first run-through of the scene. The Moorish girl dances and tries to seduce Quixote. She twirls around him, teasing him with her veil. She stands with her back against his chest, swaying seductively, and then…

Holy Shit!

It said something like “She takes his right hand and places it on her right breast. She takes his left hand and places it on her left breast.”

No really –Holy Shit!

Of course, we tried to be very professional about it and not even react. But we also realized that we were in a high school production and hands on breasts would never fly. So we improvised and wrapped his arms around me until he was holding me from behind. We thought we did an awesome job with it until we heard, “CUT!”

We were both thinking that we couldn’t believe that she was going to tone that down. I mean, come ON! We were all adults here (sort of). And then our seriously batshit crazy (not even kidding – she was insane) drama teacher said,

“It says she places his hand on her breast, not her waist. She is seducing him, not cuddling with him!”

Blank stares from us. Giggles from everyone else.

“Oh cut it out! Act like grown-ups for Pete’s sake! This is called acting! It’s not like it’s a relationship! She puts his hands on her BREASTS!

About six hours later (and for the next several months), we were practicing that scene in the backseat of his car. And his room. And the back of the auditorium. And the dressing room. And the…well, you get the picture.

About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

9 responses »

  1. So you were method acting, right? :)There’s nothing more erotic than rehearsing for/participating in a play. I have a lot of respect for this teacher, actually. She obviously wanted to honor the material and felt like you were mature enough to handle it. Elisa – I think the teenagers were going to be groping in cars with or without the teacher’s encouragement. Just my opinion 🙂

  2. Yeah – I definitely wasn’t blaming her – it was going to happen either way – I had my sights on him (and vice versa) from day one. It was just the way she said it and the timing that was funny.And I called her batshit crazy – not because of this – but because she was, in fact, batshit crazy.

  3. “It’s not like it’s a relationship or anything.” Right, because it’s BAD to touch the boobs when you are in a relationship, but fine otherwise! Hilarious!

  4. Ah, to be young again.I think I would have blushed every color of red being on stage doing that.But in the car alone, I think EVERY teen knows those moves.

  5. Isn’t it funny how a snippet of something overheard can bring back a memory like that, which we may not have thought of in YEARS? This makes me kind of wish I’d be IN the plays instead of backstage, though…!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s