Junk

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We have big plastic pretzel jugs that we save change in. We were planning on cashing it in for our first Disney trip in 06, but never did (mainly because it’s a lot, it’s heavy and it’s a pain in the ass). Same thing with 08. So finally, since we have this Virginia Beach trip coming up and it’s falling on Broke 2009, I figured I’d finally take it and cash it in (although in the ensuing years it has become more, heavier and a bigger pain in the ass).

So on Saturday, I drive to the Giant Eagle where they have a coinstar machine, and grab a shopping cart so I can lug it into the store. As I am walking across the “street” from the parking lot, the heavy coins started pulling the cart a little because the road was sloped. So I am holding on to the cart and trying to keep it under control (it was so heavy, it was hard to steer), and I was so focused on not crashing into and killing anyone with my Changemobile of Destruction that I failed to notice the 1-inch curb. I slammed into it and one of the jugs fell over (THANK GOD it was only one). I should mention that I didn’t have the lids on them. Yeah. Change everywhere. So I spent the next 15 minutes crawling around in the street picking up change. I looked like a well-fed junkie.

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Speaking of junkies, we cleaned out the van this weekend and let me tell you- it was no small task. I have a tendency to let garbage and toys and junk mail and jackets and lots of nonsense build up in the car until there isn’t an inch of space left. It’s a sickness.

Anyway, we emptied out the 200 pounds of crap, vacuumed and I got ready to start wiping down the inside. On all the doors, there are little built in “bins” where you can put maps, papers, books, etc. I cleaned out the front ones, but forgot about the back, because I never see them. Since the back doors slide, the only time I am in the back, I am getting the girl out and the door is open, so I can’t see them.

So anyway, I am sitting on the floor in the center row, and I hit the button to close the door, and in slow-motion, the nightmare comes sliding past me. Imagine you go into your older child’s room and find 250 crack vials? Well, the 5-year old version of this? 16 bajillion lollipop sticks. Oh. My. God. In addition to the lollipop paraphanalia, there were chewed chunks of gum, candy wrappers, half eaten cookies, chicken nuggets, a hash brown, crackers, some mystery sludge, a petrified string cheese, and an entire piece of cake.

Help! My daughter is a junkie.

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About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

9 responses »

  1. We have a monkey bank in our house. Whenever it gets full we take it in and guess on how much is there. The one closest gets to decide on the frivolous thing we spend it on. I always cheat and count it first though.

  2. When I used to drive my son to school I was forced to keep my car clean because I was tired of the looks from the safety guards when they had to catch trash every time they opened our door. (Is there anything more annoying than the contempt of a 5th grader?)

  3. Libby – Oh hell yeah – I would cheat too, before I let one of the kids decide.Kim – I am so happy to hear that someone else is like me. Trash falls out of my car Every. Single. Time.Shelly – we do live in mouseville, but the cat likes to hang out under the car – maybe that's why – it's a giant mousetrap.

  4. Oh my god…that is a hilarious image in my head of you picking up all of those coins. Zach and I always make a bet with the change we are turning in to coinstar. Whoever is closest gets to choose what we get out of it, but we both tend to pick Amazon gift cards so it's kind of a wash.

  5. I am imagining you scrambling for the change, and laughing because that would so be me out there doing the same thing. I hope you got enough to finance your trip in whole after the hassle it was cashing them in.

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