Thirteen Unanswerable Questions
1. Why is it that the one pocket that you neglect to check before doing laundry is the one that contains the bright red lipstick?
2. Why can’t I get motivated?
3. Where do all the socks go?
4. Why can’t my mother learn to not talk to me with an accusing tone? “Hey, what’s up?” works so much better than “Where were you?!?! I’VE BEEN CALLING ALL DAY!?!?!?!?!”
5. How many hours can a 12 year old spend on Runescape before his brain completely melts?
6. Is it really that hard to pick up your underwear from the bathroom floor?
7. How can a child love to clean, and beg to wash dishes and scrub bathrooms, and yet have full-body convulsions at the thought of cleaning up her own room?
9. Why, when I am on Facebook, do I find myself thinking “Jesus, he/she is always on!” even though the hypocrisy is crystal clear?
10. What are the winning powerball numbers?
11. What happened to that Old Granddad that Hedge and I left in the bushes in 1985?
12. Why can’t chocolate chocolate chip cheesecake ice cream be made of protein and fiber and magic, instead of fat and sugar and evil?
13. How in the hell did I manage to delete #13?