Movie Night at My House

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We watched several movies yesterday. Each one made me more convinced that I should never watch movies with my family. Why, you ask? Let me give you a tiny glimpse into the day:

Me: Intently watching movie(s)

The Boy: Who is that?

The Girl: You’d know if you were paying attention.

Me: Shhh

The Boy: Why is he doing that?

Me: Shhh

The Girl: SHHHHHHHH

The Boy: Sor-RY!

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak!

Me: Oh my God.

The Boy: Why is that black?

The Girl: Shhh

The Boy: What happened?

Me: Pay attention and you’d know!

The Boy: Who is she?

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

The Boy: Can’t they change it back?

Me: sigh

The Boy: What happened to that last guy?

The Girl: lalalalalalala!

The Boy: Is he still alive?

Me: Shush

The Boy: What’s that one spell? You know, that spell?

The Girl: Brother – Shush!

The Boy: You shush!

The Boy: Watch this!

Me: Both of you shush!

The Boy: Wait, who is that?

The Girl: baby, baby, baby…oohhh…baby

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Boy: Is that her boyfriend?

The Girl: He can be my boyfriend.

The Boy: What’s a Tesla Coil?

The Girl: Team Jacob! Woooo!

The Boy: What happened?

Me: SIGH

The Boy: Can’t they just change it back?

The Girl: I love my scooter!

The Boy: Where did it go?

Me: Pay attention. And youstop riding that scooter!

The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Dog without a squeaky toy: Grrrrrrrr

The Boy: What’s intuition?

The Girl: scoot…scoot…crash

The Boy: Is he in college?

Me: I’m begging you…

The Boy: Can you use Sprite in a Shirley Temple?

The Girl: I want a Shirley Temple! Can you make me a Shirley Temple?

Me: Not right now. I’m trying to watch the movie!

The Boy: What’s Dumbledore’s first name?

The Girl: Albus. DUH!

The Boy: nyahnyahnyah

The Girl: STOP IT!

Me: BOTH OF YOU stop it!

The Boy: What’s he going to do?

Me: JUST WATCH!

The Boy: Is that thing dead?

The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Dog without a squeaky toy: GRRRR

The Dog previously with a squeaky toy: GRRRR

The Dog who never had a squeaky toy: GRRRR

Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARK

The Boy: That’s a cool car. What kind of car is that?

Me: Oh. My. GOD! PLEASE!?!?!?

The Boy: What’s with those birds?

Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARKWRESTLEGROWLBARK…CRASH!

Me: I will KILL A DOG!

The Girl: Shhhh…I can’t hear!

Me: sigh

The Boy: Why is it blue? Isn’t it supposed to be green?

Me: Please! Stop! Talking!

The Girl: Listen – HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Do I Sound like a mental patient?

The Boy: What happened? What’s he going to do?

Me: Would you all please STOP???

Mr. B: What’s a horcrux?

Me: SOB! I am never watching movies with you people again.

The Boy, The Girl, Mr B: Sor-RY!

The Dogs: Grrr…fart.

Me: SIGH

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About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

6 responses »

  1. That's totally my house, but only when it's something I really need to concentrate on. And I don't even have kids… it's just Pinky, and it's a steady diet of "He's a Swede. You can tell by the jawline. I knew a Swede once and he had eyes like that. Or maybe he was Norwegian…"(Continue until my head explodes like a Martian listening to Slim Whitman.)

  2. Minus the dogs, that's a lot how watching a movie with my children — and sometimes my husband — sounds at my house. If Flora's attention span was any shorter, she'd forget *my* name.

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