Conversations

Standard

The Girl & friend visiting my SIL, Weenie, at her work (a makeup counter):

The Girl: “Can we put on lip gloss?”
Weenie: “Sure – what color do you want?”
Friend: “We want red!”
The Girl: “Excuuuuse me, Friend, but YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR ME! We’ll take red, Weenie.”

*********************************************

Bathing suit shopping with my mother (gives you chills, doesn’t it?):

Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: hmm
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: *rolls eyes*
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: sigh
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: pfft
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: *getting a headache*
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: (silent) omgomgomgomg
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: *trying not to kill anyone*
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: *thinking about killing myself*
Mom: “I don’t like that one – it makes your boobs look huge.”
Me: “Mother – I have had these boobs for THIRTY YEARS – you should have accepted by now that they ARE huge!”

*********************************************

After school:

The Girl: “Mom, someone wrote a bad word on the board today.”
Me: “Really?”
The Girl: “Yep. You wanna know what they wrote?”
Me: “Sure – what did they write?”
The Girl” “They wrote the A-word!”
Me: “No way!”
The Girl: ” Yes way. AND they put ‘hole’ on the end!”
Me: “Get out! I wonder who wrote it.”
The Girl: “Maybe it was Charley – he probably thinks that’s his name anyway, since that’s what you call him all the time.”

Advertisements

About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

3 responses »

  1. 1: Well, at least she knows she can speak up for herself.2: Your mom's just jealous. 3: HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the reminder to watch my flippin' mouth. Little pitchers, big ears 'n'at.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s