Veggie Babies: A Cautionary Tale


Recently, someone gave me some zucchini, as people often do when they grow 25 billion more than they will ever use. Unfortunately, they were enormous, which makes them not so great for anything other thasn baking. I did eat one for duinner one night and it proved to be exactly as not great as I thought, so when the girl asked if she could play with the other one, I said yes (despite the fact that I had no idea what she wanted it for).

A few minutes later, she came into the room, carrying this:

A veggie baby. Yes – my child dressed a humungous zucchini in doll clothes and carried it around the house all night.

The next day, she asked if she could take it to day care with her. At first, I told her no, since it’s a freaking zucchini dressed in dol clothes, but she wore me down & I finally agreed. I warned her that a zucchini baby was not destined to live a long life and that she would have to throw it away in a day ro so, befoe it got mushy and disgusting. Her response was the typical 8 year old “I know, Mom”

Fast forward to 4 days later, when I got in my cart after work. I’m driving to work and suddenly there is a fruit fly in my face. Then another. Then 57 more. At every stop light I’m looking for the old apple that she must have shoved in the door console, or the half finished juice box jammed into a cup holder (can you tell I speak from fruit-flies-in-the-car experience?) to no avail. I couldn’t for the life of me find the source of those damned pests.

Until I noticed a basket that she often uses to carry her dolls and remembered the last “doll” she had in it. Zucchini baby!

Needless to say, the next night when she asked, “Mom, can I have this potato?” the answer was no.


About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

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