More Random Crap. And a Spanish Lesson.


I suck at meetings. Not work meetings –I’m good at those, but kid-related meetings: PTA meetings, cheer meetings, band booster meetings, etc.  I usually avoid these things whenever I can, because 1) People tend to say stupid things at these meetings, 2) I have lots of opinions about the stupid things people say, and 3) I have impulse control issues. If I am forced to attend one of these types of meetings, I try to make sure I have my a couple of things with me: My phone, so I can text Hedge all my snarky comments, which helps keep them from escaping my face, and a notebook & pen, so I can look like I am studiously taking notes, when I am, in fact, drawing pornographic pictures of the parties involved.

Last week, I had a mandatory band meeting about the boy’s upcoming trip, and needless to say, I had a LOT of (badly drawn) porn when it was over. In my defense, one of the guilty parties actually said these words: “There isn’t much to do at Epcot.” Between that, the rest of the misinformation being thrown around, and the passive-aggressive packing orders tips, I’m sure you would have done the same.


Three words: Stupid Candy Crush! Why, oh WHY did I let myself get sucked into this game?  It brings out the toddler in me, too. I get pissed off when I can’t pass a level (those chocolate levels – my GOD), and I inevitably I regress to toddler logic. It usually starts with “It’s not faaaaaaaiiiiir.” And when that gets me nowhere, I go with the always helpful, “This is STUPID!” Then I swear I’m done with it, and I will never play again. And then a few hours later, I’m Level 86’s bitch again.

And speaking of Candy Crush, I recently said something about it to my family & my husband asked “What’s Candy Crush?” to which my son replied, “Some game everybody’s mother is addicted to.” Sigh. He’s not even wrong.


Hedge and I are considering going to see REO Speedwagon & Styx. Unfortunately, they are bringing Ted Nugent with them. We will probably bring some candy bars to eat during our protest during his set. Because we far prefer nougat to Nugent.


Also – the freaking raven was back the other day. I’m getting nervous.


Let’s end with this delightful exchange:

My 4 year old cousin to his brand new sister: “Hey, Mr. Dick!”

His mom: “What did you call her?”

4 yr old: “Mr. Dick. It’s the Spanish word for cutie pie.”

His mom: “Um…OK. But maybe we should just stick to cutie pie.”


About sugarmag

Forty-sdjhfkjsdhfkjsdh year old mom of 2 - a 18 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I love them very much, but they drive me crazy. I'm married and work full-time. I'm not sure which of these is the most exhausting, but probably the husband. I'm opinionated. I'm outspoken. I'm loud. I'm an over-sharer. I think Tom Cruise is a jackass. I like to say jackass. I like to swear, period. Fuckers. I love to read. I struggle with my weight. I love my job. I dress my pets up and ridicule them regularly. I am not afraid to cut my hair and I don't understand people who are. I hate getting old. I love to laugh. Make me laugh, OK?

4 responses »

  1. Your texts to me during such meetings are the texts that get me through work meetings the following day. We need to publish a book of our texts. I think it would be something for the world – let us help you. This would include your pornographic drawings. A best seller.

  2. And I prefer chocolate covered poo to Nugent and his insane ramblings….we’re walking out during his set and stuffing our faces with alcohol while calling everyone Mr. Dick.

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