Boy: It’s hot.
Me: It’s beautiful!
Boy: Mom, I’m tired.
Me: You’re fine! Let’s have fun!
Girl: I want a snack.
Me: Just wait until we stop and take a break.
Boy: This is hard!
Me: But it’s fun!
Boy: I’m tired.
Girl: A bug!
Me: It’s no big deal – he won’t bother you.
Girl: It’s a bee!
Me: (under breath) #$&&*@ bee. (out loud) He’s gone now.
Girl: Is it breaktime yet?
Me: Fine, here’s a snack.
Boy: Do we have chips?
Girl: Yeah – chips!
Me: No chips. We’ll get chips later.
Boy: I don’t like these.
Me: C’mon, lets bike.
Boy: It’s hot
Girl: I’m not hot.
Boy: That’s because you’re riding in that wagon thing. Youre not working.
Me: Shut it. I’m the one doing all the work, so deal. (thinking) Oh My God, this cart is so freaking heavy. I’m dying. But it’s fun, by God.
Girl: I like these, mom.
Boy: Hey! She’s eating my snack!
Me: You said you didn’t like it!
Boy: Well maybe I do.
Me: Oh please.
Boy: Can we go back now?
Girl: Can we go back now?
Me: We are never going biking again
Now, repeat this every weekend and you have biking with my family.
But this season is different because the girl can ride her own bike. And I know that she will pedal 10 feet and then be too tired to go any further, adding to my misery.