Category Archives: god

Not MY God


By now everyone has heard about the death of Heath Ledger. It’s tragic. But what’s even more tragic is that mere hours after his death, that Nazi asshole Fred Phelps has announced that he and his band of minions will be picketing the funeral.

I can’t believe that this is the world I am living in. One where we protest and picket people’s funerals because we don’t approve of how they look or what they say or who they fuck. Or in this case, who they pretend to fuck in an imaginary story about imaginary people in a goddamned movie.

I know that we have a right to free speech in this country and damn it I’m glad. How sad I would be if I couldn’t call people cocksuckers or talk about how Tom Cruise sucks balls. But I’m pretty sure that the whole “free speech” idea was thought up by people who weren’t thinking about disrupting a family’s right to grieve because – and I quote – “God Hates Fags! & Fag-Enablers! Ergo, God hates the sordid, tacky bucket of slime seasoned with vomit known as ‘Brokeback Mountain’ – and He hates all persons having anything whatsoever to do with it.”

Mr Phelps (I refuse to call him reverend, since he’s not actually affiliated with a church, other than his own self-created church of crazy. He’s actually a disbarred lawyer) goes on to say that Health Ledger is now in hell and that nothing else about his life is consequential. Wow. I think his baby girl and his mother might beg to differ.

A funeral is for the living and not the dead. To picket and protest a funeral means nothing at all to the dead person, but it wounds the grieving in a way that no one should ever be. I don’t care if it’s the funeral of Asshole McDickhead – his momma still deserves the right to grieve him in peace. Regardless of how you feel about homosexuality, this is a line that should not be crossed.

Every time I read something new about these people moved to tears. Tears of sadness and anger and frustration. I can’t help but cry at the thought of sharing a world with creatures so evil. Because they don’t just protest. They often celebrate. They celebrate things like 9/11, mass killings, mining accidents, fatal fires that kill children, deaths of soldiers, AIDS, the California wildfires, the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, IEDs, Columbine, the Columbia disaster, Cyclone Sidr, a bus accident that killed children and the Minnesota bridge collapse. Isn’t he a peach?

And don’t think that if you aren’t gay, you’re safe from his wrath. Oh no. Because according to Beelzebub, er, Phelps, God also hates you if you don’t hate gays and wish them dead. Or if you’re non-white. Or Muslim. Or Catholic. Or Episcopalian. Or really, any other religion than his Church of the Damned. Oh, and God hates psychiatry and art and theater and football and music. Also hated by God? Missouri. And California. And technology. And the Amish. And Hindus. And Finland, Sweden, Mexico, Canada, Ireland, Italy and America. And don’t forget North Carolina, London, Princess Diana, Bob Hope, Jon Stewart and…Oh, let’s just make this easy. He hates everyone. He hates you

He picketed at the funeral of Mr. Rogers, for Christ’s sake! Mister Rogers!!

I sincerely hope that hundreds of people turn out at Heath Ledger’s funeral and keep these evil fuckers away from that poor, grieving family. I don’t know how God feels about him, but I sure hate Fred Phelps.