Category Archives: debauchery



Working from home days are hard when I have stuff to do. My house is a disaster, and I have laundry to do and I am leaving for Virginia Beach on Wednesday and have to get ready. So it drives me crazy to have to work when I have a million other things to do. I should have spent time last night cleaning the house, but I ended up going out to spend some time with Hedge and Rapunzel instead. Because I have my priorities.


I’m all VacationHead right now, too. The Virginia Beach trip is just a short one (Wednesday to Sunday), but I’m looking forward to it regardless. My parents and aunts and cousins will be there, so it will be a lot of fun. Also – Attention Robber, Burglars and Thieves: Between mr b and the ferocious dog, the house will not be empty while we’re away, so forget about it.


This weekend was chock full of fun. Especially Friday night, when we had a surprise party for Scabs’ 40th birthday. It was a luau theme, and since Scabs always wears a coverup over her bathing suit(and we tease her about it, calling them “mumus”), we all wore them in her honor. Or mayeb it was to mock her. One of those. Anyway, Unfortunately, Scabs’ bonehead husband was in charge of getting her there. And her 7:30 arrival time stretched to 10:00. We spent the time from 6:30 to 10:00 drinking and yelling “Where the HELL is Scabs?” and drinking and not eating and drinking and taking photos of all the guests with NotScabs. Needless to say, we were one be-mumu-ed, drunken, motley crew of birthday revelers by the time she arrived. She caught up quickly, though. And then it all went down hill.

My SIL Weenie thought it would be fun to stab mr b repeatedly with a fork. But mr b had been drinking “Angry Malkins” all night and had become Angry B and he did not particularly like being stabbed with a fork. So they were fighting and forking and yelling, and he told Scabs, Weenie and I that he hates partying with us because we “DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN [WE] ARE DRINKING!!” See – he groups us together – we all get in trouble for the sins of one. So we figured since he was already mad, we’d all get involved and fork him some more. There was a lot of forking. Later in the night, we decided to reenact the forking with a nephew as a stand-in for mr b and Weenie pretty much scalped him with a carving fork, so we had to take it away and give her a plastic spoon instead. She was not nearly as dangerous after that.

Next up there were drinks and gag gifts and more drinks and an inferno of a cake and more drinks and a male blow-up doll. And then it really went downhill. Scabs chased everyone who didn’t willingly pose for a photo with Mr Happy (that’s what we named him). Looking at the photos, you would swear it was his birthday and not Scabs, since he appears in more photos than anyone. I posted a bunch of them on facebook and I will do the same on flickr, but I am thinking I can’t post the Mr Happy pics, because they are pretty much borderline porn.

So I’ll put some here, because you guys have learned to expect such debauchery from me.


Forking reenactment:

Come back, mr b! Mr Happy has something for you:

Me, Mr Happy and Scabs

Weenie, NotScabs, Me:

The girl and I in our matching “mumus”

Saturday was spent cursing my fickle friend, Rum.